The usual hustle and bustle of the first big holiday of the season wasn't felt here this year. We are still doing our very best to keep Georgia as healthy as humanly possible before her transplant so we decided to have it just be the three of us this year. We were lucky enough to have had our families drop off most of the food for Thanksgiving dinner so we were only left to cook a turkey and mashed potatoes. As we sat down to dinner Brian and I agreed that we should definitely say grace, something that is usually reserved for holidays in our house and typically said by other family members... we looked at each other and both said, you do it. I think we both knew it really meant something this year... I ended up with the honors and thanked God for Georgia, family, friends and even strangers who have been so supportive, the doctors, nurses and for her donor...we gave thanks for keeping our family strong. All of this felt good and right but there was also the feeling of a giant elephant in the room.. I want to be thankful for the health of my child but she has cancer - I am not thankful for that. I want to be sharing thanks with my family while I watch Georgia play with her cousins, but she can't be around them, I want to be thankful for not giving us more than we can handle but it often feels like that is exactly what we have.. I was true in what I was thankful for but there is certainly a part of me that is very mad and is still asking why. I keep hearing that Georgia won't remember or that Georgia doesn't know any different - I will always remember and I know different for her.
When Georgia gave us the "all done" sign after dinner I took her out of her highchair.. she looked at daddy, he did something funny and Georgia threw her head back and laughed.. an all teeth showing laugh, this continued for the next several minutes.. that is the memory I will hold onto until we can make better ones next year.

Relaxing in her favorite chair

A little daddy, daughter time

All bundled up for a Thanksgiving day walk