Day +1

Unless you have lived this process it is so hard to accurately describe the ups and downs, the anxiety and sheer heartache that it brings. Georgia slept better last night but woke up tired. My girl who is usually pointing at the door the minute her eyes are open just wanted to sit on my lap. The team did rounds and I took her for a spin around the floor but less than an hour and a half after she'd gotten up she was having trouble keeping her eyes open. I laid down with her and she was asleep almost instantly. This is so out of character for Georgia that I had the nurse and a doctor check her out. They both said she was fine and basically said this is to be expected, her body has been so beat up by the "conditioning" for transplant that she is beyond exhausted.
It's 4:45pm and Georgia has been asleep since noon. I know that her body needs sleep to heal, I know this was to be expected but I want to see my spunky little girl, the one who is social, who is smiling and who loves to do her wiggle dance. Instead what I see is our nurse getting our next IV pole ready, she has so many medications that we have to get a bigger one. There is nothing remotely easy about this process, it is so different than the round of chemotherapy that we did. The last time we were here she got sick but waved right through it, her eating dipped but there wasn't a need to IV nutrition and we didn't need pain medication.
I know that things will get better but right now it's hard to see the forest through the trees.