Tuesday, March 13, 2012

MRI

Yesterday Georgia had her MRI, the sick feeling I get seeing my baby put under welled up instantly.  The waiting is never easy, I want them to bring her back to me, over an hour went by and she finally returned.  They said she did well and a bit of relief washed over me as we left the hospital.. everytime we leave I get this little rush of relief, feeling like "they" didn't make us stay.
We made it home and were doing a little facetime on the phone with Georgia's cousins when the other line rang, it was our doctor.  From the soft tone in her voice I knew something wasn't right.  She said that the radiologist had seen a small spot on Georgia's foot, or more accurately her heel.  During an MRI Georgia is injected with contrast dye, abnormalities show up brighter than the rest, the spot on her foot was bright.  Our doctor said that she talked with the radiologist about what might possibly have caused something like this - an injury, a side effect from steroids, none of which he felt were accurate explanations. 
Our doctor said she'd been in touch with the orthopedic surgeon that has done all of the biopsies on Georgia's femur, he was to review the MRI first thing this morning.  Our doctor said that Georgia's labs all looked good so she wanted to have hope.  Depending on what the orthopedic doc said there could be a biopsy, if so our doctor wants to do a bone marrow aspirate as well.  I was told I would hear from both of them this morning.
It's almost 3pm, we haven't heard from anyone and I can't bring myself to call.  I want to crumble.  It feels as if someone is laughing, saying, you fool, did you really think you were on the road out?  I have to believe that this isn't cancer, that there is another strange explanation.  I am praying and continually telling myself to suck it up as Georgia looks to me to see that everything is okay.  I look at her left foot and keep imagining any abnormal cells washing away and leaving her body.  I have an internal battle of being positive and imagining what we want to hear and the swirl of emotions that make sick inside. Most of all I want to yell at cancer and doctors to leave us the hell alone.
Please keep Georgia in your prayers, that her entire body - every bone, organ, tissue and cell is healthy and cancer free.

6 comments:

  1. Of course Georgia is in our prayers. Jim and Kathye

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  2. Alison, I cannot tell you how I wish I could take the pain and angst away from you guys. My prayers are and have been for Georgia to be completely and entirely cancer free and healthy!

    I love you guys so much. XOXO Angie and Charlotte

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  3. I am visualizing, praying, stomping my feet and throwing a tantrum. This is so not cool... I know you have close friends and family but know we are here too.

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  4. I saw the prayer request on facebook yesterday and have been thinking about you and your family. I'm praying and thinking the most positive thoughts. I know your waiting because I did it with my brother 12 years ago. I hate cancer and everything that comes with it. Thank you for sharing your story with the rest of us. Even though we are strangers we are mothers, families who have been touched by cancer and are all on the same page.

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  5. All my love and well wishes to you all. I wish I could take all this away from your family it is so hard to know what to do or say but nothing will stop me from always praying for you and miss Georgia!!!! ITB. Stupid cancer stay away!

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  6. Sending prayers to you and baby Georgia. William's best cancer buddy. love, k

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