Simple

Two years and one day ago life was fairly simple, I had a 10 month old baby, was trying to believe this parenting thing was coming together and although things weren't perfect, I thought I appreciated the life I had. 

When you have a child, no one prepares you for the immediate shift your heart will take, once it had been an organ inside my body, but now it was most certainly residing on my sleeve.  You want to feel like you are doing right by your baby, reading the right books, taking the right classes, and making sure they are thriving.  When your baby is diagnosed with cancer all of that goes out the window-- suddenly you are doing your best to keep your head above water and can only watch, as life as you knew it crumbles away.

It would have been impossible to try and prepare myself for the ways our lives would change, the depth of fear I would feel and the dark places cancer would take us.  Like it or not I'm a different person than I was two years and one day ago, I talk the talk and walk the walk of a cancer mom, something in the beginning of this journey I swore I would never do.  Some of the people that know the most about me on this journey I have rarely seen outside of the walls of Children's Hospital.  And although I have come to realize that we don't live on an island, that anyone's child can get cancer, I think some prefer to keep us there, believing it could never happen to them.

Our lives today are not simple, but despite the complexities I truly enjoy the simple joys of life, most of all watching my daughter grow into an incredible little girl. 

With the anniversary of what was supposed to be a "quick x-ray" weighing on me I decided that we should get out of town, even for just a quick trip across the water.  This morning we headed to Bainbridge Island and played at the beach and a park.  We soaked up the sunshine, laughed and enjoyed the beautiful day, never once forgetting how grateful I am for this radiant face.