Today

Today started much like they do these days, with longer stretches between appointments we get glimpses of "normal" life. I was irritated by some recent criticism we'd received but was trying to remind myself that what we've done so far has gotten us here today.
Despite the rain we headed for the park, Georgia kept looking around and saying "kids?" we were the only ones out braving the elements. There were several moments when I looked at her and thought, you look so good.. you look so happy. Half way up the path to the car Georgia asked to be carried, I cradled her in my arms and we giggled most of the way up. At the top of the path a woman and man were chatting, they looked at us, smiled and I overheard the woman say, "those were the days.." I looked at Georgia and thought, if she only knew.
We headed home, I was anxious to see if there was an update on our friend Hunter, he'd been running a fever for the past couple of days - something that makes a cancer mom panic in ways most moms can't imagine. What I learned was that Hunter still had a fever but it was down, our friend Mia had spent the morning in the ER and our friend baby Celah had been medievaced to Seattle from Alaska overnight. All of these children have done there treatment, have been braver and stronger than most adults I know yet we're all stuck in this world of cancer.
It's such an odd place to be, today I feel lucky, to be home, to see Georgia looking so healthy and happy but am reminded, this is today. If measured by the people in my "old life" I am considered one of the most unlucky, but by so many of our new friends we are lucky... today. I am reminded that there are no guarantees, but there never were any to begin with - this is terrifying and liberating all at the same time. I have full faith that Georgia is as healthy as she looks but that didn't stop me from hugging her a little tighter for a little longer today. The love I was giving came back tenfold, several times Georgia gave me big hugs while saying "love much."
As you send prayers to Georgia and our family please send some to our friends... that Hunter just has a cold, that Mia's leukemia blasts packing her bone marrow will be knocked down by her latest treatment and that tomorrow baby Celah's family receive news of good health.