Monday, January 18, 2016

The Visual

Tomorrow marks five years post transplant and despite seeing a healthy, growing girl who's lost three teeth, loves kindergarten, skis, does gymnastics and is starting basketball (today!) it's hard to believe we are here.
Tomorrow morning we will be up early, Georgia has fasting labs at 7:45am in Seattle.  This is the first of many appointments tomorrow at the SCCA.  Several weeks ago my phone rang and after looking at the number I immediately knew it was the SCCA.  I was pleasantly surprised to hear Katie's voice on the other end.  Katie is the nurse that literally hooked up Georgia's transplant, she is the reason we have pictures of the bone marrow and she's always been a big fan of Georgia.  We talked about life, how Georgia is doing and memories from the past, good and bad.  She remembered that we'd joked about setting up a beer and brats stand outside of Georgia's hospital room to welcome the new bone marrow, she still remembers the night we were admitted, even which room and bed we were in.  Katie is an amazing nurse who balances critical situations with humor and caring.
I hadn't talked to Katie since we had our two year post transplant work up at the SCCA, she'd recently moved from Children's to work there with the transplant team.  I remember our last conference at the SCCA, I was eight months pregnant with Leo and we all marveled at the thought the next time we'd be back, five years post transplant.
We've done so much living in the last three years, I feel so grateful and still mourn the life that we lived then.  I'm confident that Georgia will do well in all of her tests but the memory of how quickly ones life can turn will always be rooted in the back of my mind.
I've thought a lot about where we've been and how we've arrived at today, I keep coming back to all of the things that carried us through.  I remember it all, every prayer, card, gift, meal, all the words of support, visualization and love that was sent to our family.  Those things saw me through and kept me going.

While we were in Montana for Christmas this year my dad and I talked about an email he'd sent me years ago, he was focusing on the healthy future of Georgia and I've never forgotten it.  Here is part of my blog post from October 20, 2010.

I read an email from my dad this evening which I will be reading again when my spirits are low, he said:
I have created this new visual to help me through this. I am seeing Georgia completing her five year check up with a clean bill of health, having just turned 6 years old and making her first snow board adventure down Whitefish Mountain. I can truly see this clear as day. I am positive it is going to happen. She is not only musically gifted with a great sense of humor but a very adept snowboarder as well.
Positive thoughts bring positive results!!!!

My dad took this picture just a few weeks ago in Montana, seems to me the only thing he got wrong was the snowboard.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous to start Georgia's five year post transplant testing, as grateful as I am to be here, I haven't forgotten the sheer terror of that time and what it feels like to have your life under a microscope.  I'd also be lying if I said I didn't feel lucky, I still put us in the category of the luckiest of the unlucky and as convoluted as that may be, I'm grateful.

We welcome some of those thoughts, prayers and good juju for Georgia's upcoming appointments that have seen us through.

1/19
Fasting labs
Pulmonary function
Nutrition
90 minute clinic

2/2
Bone age x-ray
Dermatology

2/4
Review conference


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